What To Do When Your Wife Keeps Bringing Up The Past

Why Dwelling on Our Spouses Past Mistakes is a Big No No.

What to do when your wife keeps bringing up the past. For instance your partner may want to keep going to a restaurant. If you were raised anything like me you might also recall misbehaving as a child and your parents just not letting up about it. Leave reruns and instant replays to old sitcoms or your favorite sport and dont make them part of your marriage. Let him know how the constant reminders make you feel.

This keeps the emotional tension from boiling over and bringing up emotional memories. You can simply say Thats in the past. Often they have tried everything that they know to do to make sure that their spouse can heal and move on. I sometimes hear from people who feel as if they will never be truly free from an affair that is in the past.

Treat people the way you want God to treat you. Youre the one who decides to get angry. If theres one thing we all have in common its that none of us can change the past. So bringing up old disagreements during a fight simply makes your partner feel trapped and helpless.

Speaking in general terms women tend to process while. Nobody can force you to feel bad about what happened unless you give up your power and choose to give in. Nobody is perfect and we are all tempted to use past hurts as a weapon at times. When they are bringing up your past mistakes they are often talking to themselves about the areas of their lives they think they need to improve but havent made progress.

Then the other person receives one minute and on it goes. Youre like a plunger you keep bringing up old shit. Even after the consequences had been issued in the form of a spanking or punishment the discussion seemed to last. If you want to try to move past something but dont know how consider therapy.

If your partner keeps bringing up reoccurring issues it may be because you are trying too hard to fix it rather than just acknowledge it. If your partner is still hung up on their ex they may suggest doing the same things that they used to do with their past partner. If you have difficulty letting go of the past perhaps you arent able to forgive. Its the only one you do have the power to change.

Women who keeps bringing up pasts both forgiven and forgotten should never be allowed to go to church or pray because they are wasting their time. If you have admitted to whatever happened in the past apologized for it and been forgiven for it then your wife is just being manipulative and you need to point that out to her. Take responsibility for how these feelings then have you act out in certain ways. Talk to your husband.

Drop whats been and gone and try focussing on the present issue causing your relationship conflict. It might mean accepting that you cant trust your partner. My Spouse Is Still Bringing Up My Affair Ten Years Later By. Its not always easy to tell the difference for either you or your spouse.

We all sin everyday and ask God for forgiveness and hope He has forgiven us. I heard a really good rule once. You cant start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one. But at the end of the day C your feelings are YOUR feelings and no one can MAKE you feel anything without your permission.

By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter 1 Comment. You should never focus all of your energy on pointing out the negative aspects of the relationship. Try to spend as much time dealing with the positives as you can. Let past hurts go and deal with the issue at hand in as calm a manner as possible.

Why does my wife keep bringing up the past. You cannot continue to punish me for that forever. Its also helpful to have rules in marital discussions such as No past events No name-calling No discussion of in-laws. Think about things before you say them and do not lash out in anger.

If you notice your partners afraid to bring up the ex or if your partners tried and its becomes a sore point Sherman says its time to ask why. I am not the same person I was a month ago a day ago or a year ago. In the marital discussion each person is allowed one minute at a time. Nothing someone said could be used against them more than one week after it was.

The past is a place of reference not a residence. Anybody that understands what forgiveness means should never bring up the past. If youve already apologized and made amends for whats happened in the past then maintain your focus on the fact that youve apologized. Say something like Look in the past I was wrong I have apologized for that and I thought I was forgiven.

When your wife keeps bringing up the past theres a delicate line between necessary and needless. If you judge me by my past dont be surprised when you become part of it.