What Do You Do When Your Spouse Wont Talk To You

In extreme cases one of the spouse is all but refusing to speak with the other.

What do you do when your spouse wont talk to you. Whether you have a healthy sex life with your spouse or not you need other people around you. Most reluctant talkers can handle a conversation if they know it wont last forever. Its not a popular choice particularly in the early years of marriage because we want everyone to think we are happy. When your partner says Lets talk you may reply Im afraid to talk.

Consider when they typically feel safest opening up to you and try to create similar circumstances. Their natural inclination is to go to their husbands and apologize give in on something they dont want to do or treat their husbands extra lovingly. Think about what specific gestures make your spouse feel loved. Try to talk to her gently and alone.

Include how not talking about or resolving the issues is affecting you. You are demonstrating empathy and may therefore indicate that you are in tune with the other person. My wife gets angry and goes to her room and will not speak to me and says just leave me alone. When you want to save your marriage this can pose a huge problem.

Dont manipulate your spouse Dont invite your spouse out to the movies when you really plan on having the talk at a restaurantBe honest not manipulative. Todays question is from Nate. You cant change your spouse but you can work on changing you. There are no two ways about it.

The needy wifes response when her husband wont talk to her. Simply doing your homework before trying to communicate may make a lot of difference. Usually but not always the spouse who initiated the separation is the one who is resistant to talking. But theyre not reading this.

Giving your spouse a chance to talk and really listening to them may encourage them to do the same for you. First remind your partner that you care and try to draw them out with kindness. 2Write your spouse a letter or e-mail stating your feelings requests or questions. I guess you dont want to talk because you think Im just going to make a lot of accusations or demands if we talk you may say.

At some point you have to agree to talk about the problems that exist between you. When your spouse decides to talk about your problems try not to interrupt or even ask questions until your spouse has said hisher piece. Do everything from a foundation of love and support. If youre going to resolve issues there needs to be a mutual commitment to listen to the other persons concerns and to work towards improving the situation.

Because needy women are afraid of abandonment any kind of withdrawal by their husbands triggers anxiety. Trying to convince them verbally that theyre wrong to reject you is a losing. If your husband wont talk to you then he needs to talk to someone else. All couples do this dance Ortis says and older couples have learned what to say and what to avoid.

Hurtful Comments If you have a history of saying things that are hurtful insulting intimidating dismissive or disrespectful of your spouses opinions beliefs and feelings your spouse may not want to listen to what you have to say. On the other hand pressuring your spouse to talk means asking questions and expecting answers instantly. Ask your spouse that whether you did a wrong thing and if you did ask her to forgive you. If your spouse asks what youre doing just say that you read that lowering your voice was a way to defuse anger.

Ask your spouse for a specific short commitment of time. No matter what the history cause or present state of your estrangement from the other person one thing is certain. And if he wont do that too then you need to speak to someone. Always try to be with her laughing with her.

Pick the right time for the conversationDont ask your spouse to agree to a time to have the talk without having calmed yourself down first. If youre the person who refuses to talk you may try a similar tactic. Maybe your partner will decide to try it too. Heres the next video in our blog series Dr.

And the spouse who resisted the separation is the one who is trying to talk more. The problem is she wont speak about the issue for several days. Try to make her smile. Deal with Your Own Heart First.

If it turns out that you both value the idea of having a relationship again and that is definitely an if youll avoid an unnecessary loss for both of you by doing what you can to make amends. This breaks the pattern of tempers escalating followed by loud yelling. What To Do When Your Spouse Wont Talk To You. Afterwards you can use the mirroring technique to clarify what your spouse has said.

Its a way of saying you dont want to talk about the issue because its uncomfortable and dont want to hurt your spouses feelings so you avoid the topic all together. If your spouse asks what youre doing just say you read that lowering your voice was a way to defuse anger. Time the talk well. You need godly people you are doing life with in an ongoing way people to ask you the tough questions and hold you accountable people to cry with and laugh with and grow with people you can be yourself around.

Let your mate set the limit. Listen to your spouse. When youre talking to your spouse and start getting overly-emotional lower your voice instead of raising it. Dana Answers Your Questions.

Here are some suggestions for re-establishing a loving connection with your spouse. You may find that it increases as he or she grows more comfortable.